How my quest to find victory ended up finding who I truly am

“In order to become a journalist, you have to be a human first.”

That was one of the most memorable lines I said during my talks throughout JournQuest. It was inspired by a line from one of my idolized journalists, Lourd de Veyra during a podcast, a line that struck my heart and reignited the fire inside me, reminding me of why I was here in the first place.

Two years have passed since I started my journey here at Explained PH, and in those two years, I have seen people come and go, covered countless stories, written articles, and witnessed moments that have changed the way I see journalism and myself.

I started as a Photos Desk volunteer who only had one thing in mind: I wanted to serve the people. I didn’t know where this path would take me. I simply wanted to contribute to the organization in whatever way I know and could, believing that journalism was one of the ways I could serve the people.

Eventually, despite being from outside the Greater Manila, I became the Associate Editor.

With the position came greater responsibilities, more coverages, more tasks, and even more expectations from everyone around me. Every coverage became something I had to accomplish. Every task became another thing on the list that needed to be finished. I kept moving from one assignment to another, always telling myself: “I just needed to get it done.”

Somewhere along the way, I slowly forgot the essence and the soul of why I was doing it.

The work gradually became a routine. The deadlines became the goal, and while I was still doing journalism, the purpose that brought me here slowly began to fade — Until JournQuest.

JournQuest was really what I consider a “journey,” and something about that journey felt different. I met staffers and volunteers from Explained PH and campus journalists from different parts of the country. From Luzon to Visayas to Mindanao, I encountered young journalists with different experiences, perspectives, and reasons for choosing this path — seeing their passion reminded me of the person I was when I first started.

Standing in front of those students and speaking during JournQuest felt like coming full circle — it felt like a 360 of my life. It brought me back to my days as a Photojournalist, when I was still learning, finding my footing, and trying to understand where I fit in journalism. Looking back, I realized how much I had learned since then; I have grown as a person now and a journalist, too. 

The person who once listened and learned from others was now in a position to share the lessons, mistakes, and experiences I had gathered along the way. It reminded me that I had grown from where I started, and that growth also gave me the opportunity to pass on what I had learned to others who were just beginning their own journey. 

It reminded me that journalism could be more than the stories we publish. It could be about people, about listening, understanding, and helping others tell their own stories.

But JournQuest was not only about the students I met or the places we went to. It was also about the people I spent the journey with.

Throughout the entire tour, I was with my fellow executives, Prash, Bea, Sheki, Zea, and Maw. Spending so much time together allowed me to know them beyond the roles we had within the organization. We shared long travels, preparations, exhaustion, problems, laughter, conversations, and countless moments in between.

The journey allowed me to see parts of them that I had never seen before, and in doing so, it also made me rediscover parts of myself that I had long forgotten. 

JournQuest reminded me why I was here, and it constantly reminds me why I am still doing this — despite the adversities, the personal issues I have, and despite all the unfavorable odds life has thrown at me. 

Most importantly, it reminded me of the words I had said during my talks:“In order to become a journalist, you have to be a human first.”

I had become so focused on becoming a better journalist that I had forgotten the person behind the art and science of journalism.

For the longest time, I thought I was searching for victory. I thought victory meant accomplishing every task, finishing every coverage, and proving that I was becoming a better journalist day by day, week by week, year by year.

But I eventually realized that I had become so focused on reaching the next accomplishment that I had forgotten what I was accomplishing all of it for.Through JournQuest, I found people who reminded me why I started.And I found Prash, Bea, Sheki, Zea, and Maw, who walked beside me, through the ups and downs, throughout the entire journey and became an important part of helping me understand myself again.

I thought victory was about how far I could go.But in the end, it was about finding my way back to where I started.

Back to myself — back to the person who wanted to serve the people.