Not every mother looks the same

Some women were never allowed to fall apart, because everyone else depended on them first. 

Every Mother’s Day, mothers face a different reality from the others. Meanwhile, some mothers are not really mothers, but they are ones who stepped into the shoes of one. 

Some carried children with heart and soul even though they weren’t their own. Some had called her ‘mama’ not because she gave birth to them but because of how she showed up in every change of their diapers, every tear wiped, and every sermon that, sometimes, lasted longer than the actual mistake.

Clearly, some mothers are born, while others are made through sacrifice.

When loss didn’t stop them from being parents

In the story of Nanay Letty and Nanay Radaza, losing their husbands couldn’t mean that their children could lose them too. 

20 years later, Nanay Radaza still remembered the day she lost him as if it were just yesterday. “Naglalaba siya ng labahan no’ng gabi kasi sabi niya, ‘nakakahiya naman umuwi sa mama mo na may dalang labahan,’” she said with a soft laugh. “Pero kinaumagahan no’n [paglalaba ni mister], ‘di siya gumising.” 

As loss emptied one side of her bed, she opened up a small sari-sari store, a source of income and a home. Nanay Radaza said she felt embarrassed of their small house because visitors wouldn’t fit inside. “Tindahan lang din talaga tirahan namin. ‘Di ako puwede magpatulog kasi masikip eh.”

However, now, the sacrifices and struggle Nanay Radaza faced slowly became the reason her children were able to stand tall in life.

If Nanay Radaza was stricken with grief, Nanay Letty was a far stronger woman. When asked about how she and her husband met, she joked, “Ayaw ko rin sa kaniya eh, ‘di ko nga type eh. Ewan ko pa’no ko siya napang-asawa.”

When her husband passed, Nanay Letty took one look at her three children and said, “No’ng makita ko ang mga anak ko, naging matatag ako, naging malakas loob ko eh.”

Nanay Letty was not worried about what she could provide for the family because somehow, life had its way of keeping them steady, where it was never abundant, but it was never lacking either, especially with her small sari-sari store.

Now, she still has her store, as two of her children continue to study in college. She shares with all single mothers to be strong in life, because every sacrifice is a step towards their futures.

When love is a daily action

For another mother, though, the struggle is a love that demands constant presence. With Mommy Rona, two of her three kids were diagnosed with Level 3 Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the most severe form. 

Therapy sessions cost P800 to P1,500 per hour, she shared, and yearly assessments come at P5,000 per child—separate from other expenses. She says that the expenses are always doubled, a quiet reminder of how love has to stretch just to keep up.

When asked about her proud moments with her children, she said, “Sa bawat maliit o malaking progress na nagagawa o natututunan nila. 101% proud kami sa kanila.” But even when words fail her children, a mother’s love doesn’t. Mommy Rona understands them in a way that the world often can’t. “Siguro mother’s instinct na ‘yon… ako bilang nanay alam ko na kahit hindi pa sila magsalita.”

Still, the hardest part is not just taking care of them but the weight of explaining again and again that different doesn’t mean broken. “Hindi nila ginusto na maging ganyan sila, at ang kailangan nila ay pang-unawa at pagmamahal,” Mommy Rona voices about her autistic children. 

For Mommy Rona, one thing that keeps her standing is unshakeable faith, because in the hardest days of not having anything, grace still finds its way into their homes. Her message for other mothers like her is simply, “You will never be given a situation you cannot handle.”

An eldest daughter who had to grow up too soon

With Elle’s story, though, she suddenly had to fit into shoes that were too big for her at 9 years old. As the eldest daughter of three, she was forced to handle being the ate and a mom when her mother left their house, carrying their youngest brother.

Elle recalled having to grow up faster than the others. She learned how to cook and even suppress her emotions just so that her brother wouldn’t see her breaking too. “Pero siguro ‘yong pinakamasakit at pinaka-unfair was comforting my brothers kapag binubully sila sa labas at sinasabihang, ‘Wala na mama mo.’”

In the middle of childhood, she had already learned to choose responsibility over play. “Lagi kong winiwish na sana bumalik si Mama, kahit si Mama na lang, kasi yung batang ako, kailangang-kailangan ng mama.”

But now that she’s older, time has genuinely softened what broke her once. Her mother is back in her life not just to forget what happened but to reshape what was lost by making up every day for her absence. For Elle, forgiving meant living without the weight of yesterday pulling down her present.

Four mothers and a daughter

Similar to Elle’s, Jam’s story is about growing up without a mother, but four mothers walked right in. When her biological mother left when she was three months old, absence of care was not felt, as her grandmother, two aunts, and a stepmother became four different versions of her home.

Her lola became her teacher, protector, first fan, and even her personal taga-suklay, a testament to how deep a love of a lola can be. However, growing up, there were moments when the absence of her mother ached the most.

“How does it feel kaya na totoong mama ko yung nandiyan for me?” Jam would wonder when she saw other kids whose mothers would hug them, pick them up from school, and cared for in ways she could only imagine.

But even so, you can be raised by absence and still be full. When Jam looks back, there is no wanting to reconcile with her mom because she’s content where she is. Not everyone gets one mother, yet she got four, and it’s a blessing she never expected but always cherished to call home.

Love made them mothers

At the end of the day, being a mother is not solely defined by blood. Some became mothers because they stayed, braved and chose love even when it was the hardest to give.

The stories of Nanay Letty, Nanay Radaza, Mommy Rona, Elle, and Jam are among millions, each carrying a different kind of pain, loss, and absence, but they share the same root: love.

Because at the center of every story, there was always love choosing to fight and exist.